Multi-Single-Parent-Family-Vacation

A mixed family vacation is a mirror for ourselves, as well as a rebalancing of how we see each other in our own little microcosmos and in relation to each other.

We're three 2 person families. For a string of circumstances, Ellie and I haven't really formed an inclusive family with our two daughters yet, which is another topic. Hence, there has not been a development and manifestation of deeper trust as normal (functional) families have. There's still a strangeness, fortified by a cultural difference both in living, speaking and mainly raising our children.

For Lily, it's easy, she comes from a rather strict environment that encourages self-responsability with less flexible boundaries to a paradise where rule enforcement is lax and spoiling a custom. For Ellie's daughter, it's the other way around.

And then there's Ellie's sister and her son, another different universe. They're kind of in the middle I'd say, stricter than Ellie, but not as consecquently enforcing as I.

A vacation is a very intimate moment, especially when sharing a house. I'm quite focused on consideration, as something that my father instilled in us early on. "You're not the only person on the planet." And such. Basically a (probably unintended) abbreviation of Confucius "Don't do onto others as you don't want them to do onto you." And as somebody who knows what he wants, I definitely know what I don't want.

Yet, I try to compromise a lot. Considering that they're not like me, and cut them some slack, or quite a lot. Only when it's something that I feel is a really bad example for Lily, I intervene.

The consideration is not reciprocal, and yes, that bothers me. The egoistical decisions started even before the trip, and though I expressed my discomfort with that, it kept on. It's not a community based process of decision making, like I would like it to be, a compromise oriented engagement. It seems like of I don't assume a certain leadership, I'll be left out. And if I do, I'll be the scapegoat. Emotionally, it doesn't feel much like a vacation for now, more like a scientific experiment on single-parent-behavior when in a community situation. ![1000256663.jpg](2

And yet, it's beautiful. I spent the morning digging a big hole in the sand, just for fun. It's covered by the sea now, and will probably be full of sand again when the tide withdraws. But Lily and I had a lot of fun doing that. We had an hour for ourselves, which was nice. Right now, I'm alone at the house, writing down my thoughts before going to join them at the beach. Well not totally alone. There's this little bugger who k genuinely thought was just a shell.

What's your experience doing vacation with other parents and their children? Any tips?