The Threads of Destiny

I came upon some very disheartening news in regards to an old friend...

The most recent novel that I read left me with an important message... It was about a culture that believes in the power of destiny, that there are threads that bind us to certain people throughout our lifetime. No matter how much time has passed, you will always find a way back to each other.

This is the connection that I feel with my ex-best friend...

It has been 6 years since we last spoke to each other, but I am always checking up on my friend's posts from time to time. Can't say if she ever does the same with me; I doubt that she does. Things ended on very ugly terms... Yet, today, I came across the news that she is a mother to an angel baby. Of course, it wasn't the term that struck me; I have an angel baby as well. No, I was completely taken aback because I had NO idea that she was pregnant. When we were friends, motherhood had never been a desire of hers.

And so, she was pregnant... But my friend unexpectedly passed her baby boy, Noah, at 37 weeks old. They discovered very late that he had a rare condition...

As I said, the news stopped me in my tracks. I've been overcome by immense sadness... To think, she and I have carried this grudge, immeasurable rage and unspoken thoughts, for several years -- all over how a relationship with a guy ended!

Just like that, I was absolved of my negative emotions; I no longer hold any resentment. So much wasted time on something so trivial... I cannot imagine the pain she and her fiancé are carrying while trying to get through the days. How is one supposed to comprehend that they were so close to crossing the finish line, yet now they have to return home empty-handed? Where is she meant to put all of her lost hopes and wishes? A heart that was once so full of love, now completely deflated and defeated...

My heart breaks especially for the fact that my friend had finally seen the light: she was starting to realize that family is the entire purpose of life.
When we were friends, she was extremely misguided. She was a cocaine addict. Not only that, she was very promiscuous. I tried being as liberal as possible during our friendship, but she did a lot of stuff that I didn't approve of. She told me stories that still make my stomach churn... Long story short, dear reader, I would guess that she has probably slept with 100 men throughout her sex life.
On top of this, she was in an open relationship with her boyfriend (now fiancé), doing all of this at the same time that she was with him.

Then I guess she was finally starting to change. Her and her boyfriend got engaged after several years of being together. Then they were trying to conceive, despite being told it might never happen. Then she finally got pregnant...

I always try to be grateful for my days with my children. Sometimes it is exhausting and overwhelming, but I know how devastated I would be if it were replaced by silence instead. My miscarriage was difficult, but I recognize that some people are facing a much harder battle. I pray that my friend receives peace and understanding soon, and that someday her wish to be a mother is fulfilled...