Challenge #04550-L166: Zen Yoga Lesson

Pissing off a human is bad enough. When you do that to a N'Ozzie? Well, they'll do more than just kick your tail. -- Anon Guest

Do not anger a Human, for you never know how they will seek vengeance - Galactic Alliance proverb.

N'Ozzies are generally laid back and easy-going. That's their reputation in the greater portions of the Galactic Alliance. They're masters of making do, dealing with surprising situations, and creative problem-solving. What few people learn is that they're slow to anger and capable of remembering a grudge for generations.

They also have an anti-authoritarian streak so wide that it could encapsulate a gas giant.

The worst thing anyone could do is act the Knomira around a N'Ozzie engineer. Which is what Deregger Vaelaerie decided to do when she decided her vessel couldn't wait in the service queue like everyone else.

The insistent 'Ex-cuse me's didn't seem to catch Bodger Dan's attention. Neither did snapping her manicured fingers. She even tried putting those snapping fingers in front of his nose.

The only response was, "You wanna lose that hand?"

"Are you threatening me?" Vaelaerie screeched.

"Yeah nah, th' machinery is. Flail around in the wrong place and..." A piece of equipment moved faster than anyone could blink. Swooping through the space where her hand had been mere seconds ago. "That could'a happened any second."

Vaelaerie refused to acknowledge the hint. "Now that I finally have your attention, I have to get my vessel's engine repaired urgently. I have a very important appointment three stops past hitizzy and I can't wait."

Bodger Dan said, "I'm not finished here yet. Your vessel's in the queue, everyone's locked in on the rails. You wait your turn like everyone else who has to get their ship fixed urgently." He put his tools carefully down, turned slowly to face her and said, "The more you slow me down, the longer this is going to take."

Vaelaerie stomped her feet and screamed, "I demand you service my vessel immediately! This is an outrage! How dare you be this lazy! Do you know who I am? I could ruin you!"

"Yeah go on then," said Dan. "I'm doing smokoh. And if I'm ruined? Nobody here is getting maintenance." He gave her a lazy wave and strolled away from his work bay.

Vaelaerie, according to the securicams, threw a tantrum and all of Dan's tools to the furthest possible corners of the work bay. She attempted to call competitors and extract her vessel to a different workshop and get it seen to. She soon learned several things:

One - there were other engineers on board, but they were limited to other station duties.

Two - There was only one drydock service bay on Nuwurriiz Station, and Dan was the only chief. They could get some trainees to help, but it would take a while.

Three - When Vaelaerie screamed about not wanting trainees working on her ship, her only option was to wait for Dan to get back to her.

Her advice was to sit back, relax, and take it easy. She did not heed that advice. She tried to complain to every authority she could reach and get Dan fired but... he was the only ship repair expert on board. Getting another one out there would take five Standard Months[1].

She could only wait, and getting a response from her higher authorities would take even longer. Not that that stopped her from trying.

While she was busy on the comms, Dan came back from a very long 'smokoh' and tutted at the state of his work bay.

Vaelaerie was about to learn the uniquely N'Ozzie method of retaliation - Creative Procrastination.

Dan set his toolbox upright, and set all his tools in order. One at a time. With meticulous care that they were nested properly in their appropriate place. For the more complicated tools, he picked them up and took them to a diagnostic machine and carefully supervised their assessment. Thrice.

For each one even slightly malfunctioning, Dan disposed of them and ordered new ones, adding their bill to Vaelaerie's charges. Even if the equipment in question was easily repaired.

Then he took exquisite care in finishing one job at a time. Directing the finished vessels to exit rails A and B. There was a rail C, but it was, to use the N'Ozzie term, "a bit dodgy".

Exit rails A and B were full and cycling atmosphere when Dan finally finished doing extreme care and attention - with plenty of 'smokoh' time in between.

"Righto. She'll be right. Now we just have to wait for A or B to nick off and you'll be out and away."

"I can see a third rail," Vaelaerie screeched. "Does that lead to an exit?"

"Yeah, but--"

"No more delays," she shrieked. "Get my ship on that rail right now or I am sueing this entire station and its staff and your government!"

"As you wish," said Dan, and pulled the lever.

The station maintenance teams had been letting the trainees work on exit dock C. They hadn't been very successful at getting the doors to open. Each exit rail could only accommodate one vessel at a time for safety.

She was stuck on line C for two more months. Much though Vaelaerie tried to make it everyone else's problem... nobody seemed to care.

[1] Two hundred days.

[Photo by Nina Mercado on Unsplash]

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