Lavender Clouds

In the past, I would absolutely break myself over and over in the process of achieving whatever goals I set for myself. Force it if you have to. I would get there. Success! But at what cost?! Eventually, gradually, a complete burnout and inability to deal with anything remotely more demanding or anything consisting of some kind of stress level. Brilliant! Was it worth it? It kind of fries you, and you can only hope it is not permanent.

Less is after all more - I was lost in more is more instead, and not like the mentality of the society about what one should do as a human, and what one should achieve in their lives helps with that either. There is constant pressure to keep moving. Don’t blink or you will become irrelevant and obsolete! Stay in your wheel and keep moving! Right? That is the path to self-destruction. You can make it go as quickly as you wish, it does not change the outcome much.

We are almost conditioned to burn the candle from both ends before the imminent expiration date of our youth and peak capabilities. Who cares what happens after? You are like an old race horse with an injury now. You are out of the race. You will be lucky if you are granted the green pasture for the rest of your sunrises.

Where are we racing? The grave? Slow down. Notice the passage of time. Maybe it is worth being more present and intentional with our consciousness. There is so much more for us if and when we choose it and let it take place.

_{Slow down and smell the lavender!}

If there is a scent that is the true Queen of them all, look no further than the scent of lavender! It is heavenly intoxicating, my absolute favorite! I could swim in a lavender-infused pool for the rest of my life (not that I recommend it, probably would not be safe?!), how much I love the scent of it! And while I do not have lavender fields yet, I daydream of them often. That was the inspiration of this painting. It seemed like a perfect continuation of my dreamy flower painting theme.

The linen canvas I had picked up at the art supply store the previous year in Rīga was calling out to me. The texture or grain of the canvas feels very organic, less mechanical, which I like a lot, and compared to the cotton canvases I have worked with before, it has more elasticity and bounce to the touch. Linen canvases also seem to be priced higher, which is understandable since linen is never cheap as a raw material in general. I have to say, it was super pleasant to work with and it feels extra special holding the finished painting in hand.

I wanted to continue to play with the blooms and the textured clouds. I mixed multiple different blues and even some greens for the background sky and lightly sketched in where I wanted my clouds to go. Then I moved on to the lavender. In nature, nothing is just one color, so I figured my lavender blooms needed some extra care in that regard. Once I was happy with how the blooms looked, I decided to continue building the relief of the clouds by layering globs of paint and molding them into cloud-like shapes. At this point, I still did not have the modeling paste to help me with that, and during the drying process, the volume still went down. However, I am pretty pleased with what I was able to build even without the paste.

What a cute little painting it turned out to be! I am so happy with it! ^^

Of course, the happiness about it fully comes after the artist’s blindness has faded away. There is no denying that, at the time of working on it, I kept picking apart all the flaws I personally saw and felt about it. I am so glad that it goes away and I can enjoy the fruits of my labor as well. For me, it happens almost all the time. Only after I have detached myself from the finished work for like a week or so, I can begin to see it for what it is, not what I would do differently or change about it.

Thoughts? Do you like it?

_{Take a closer look!}

_{I love how the protruding paint creates these organic shadows in the clouds.}

_{The blues are hugging the purples in the blooms. I think they suit each other. The highlights are really making the lavender pop!}

_{The peaks and layers. Oh, I can’t wait to experiment with even more outwardly structures in the future!}

_{The proof of linen and my signature, hehe!}

_{A piece of heaven is already in my garden now, and I love every tiny branch of it!}

_{Lately, I am focusing more on being more present in the moment, and I am more successful at turning off the noise of the world. These photos are from one of the days that helped me a lot to reset my brain. Yes, I still build the sand castles, and I still dare to dream of things coming my way in the future!}

Thank you for being on this timeline! I will catch you on the chain again soon!

-M

_{Song of the day: Gunship - Monster In Paradise (I love this band and the video for this song is so badass! ^^ It makes me want to play Cyberpunk again!)}