Never

Healthy, happy, peaceful. Whenever I have dreamt of him, he has always been like that. One time, I dreamt I was awake, and had brought him back to life. He was walking toward me smiling and open; I thought he must be an illusion of mine. Another woman was just behind me, and I turned to her to ask "You see him too?" She nodded yes, spell bound by him. We were both spell bound. I was still dreaming I was awake.

That one was dreadful to wake up from.

believing
that dreaming is time travel
helps

heaven
and dreams
are time travel

splash
I hear your beautiful plunk
right behind me

I thought
I could do this but
now I think I cannot

god bless the child
who dies in
his mother's arms

our next walk will be
in a hundred acre wood
where crows
still power our hearts
and you will leave me a note
just like the one you left for your dad,
your words, penned by my hand,
with sparkles all around them
leaving me,
as you predict,
so happy

I wish you deep and restful sleeps
a certainty that you can fly
and restored grace

---

Today you are thirty.

I love you

Shot was taken by his Aunt Terry. I messed around with it, trying to bring him back alive. I will never stop trying to do that. Never.