#Ulog 72 September 13 2019 - My Taylor’s Experience

I told my friends in my Masters degree about my pills, my psychosis and a bunch of other stuff that I would make any girl not want to be with me. I had Muslim friends. My objective to tell all is not so much that we will be close, but make them not want to be with me.

Great.

I am going to tell my Taylor’s story in its entirety. This will include backstabbing, committing suicide, the Book Club drama, rejoining Taylor’s and getting a hard time still the 2nd time around.

Everybody in university are all learning. It doesn’t matter whether we are wrong or right. As long as we learn and be friends along the journey to learn, that’s all that we should do.

Wrong.

Ego will destroy my friendships and classmates would gang up on me to make me feel left out and I had to leave before anything worse happens.

A few weeks ago, a Malaysian PhD student died because she committed suicide when her classmates were ridiculing her.

I could have been her.

It was in the 2nd semester. We were doing a presentation in which R, a French guy said something wrong. So, I corrected him and I hurt his ego enough that he said he is friends with me outside of class and not inside.

I printed his assignment for him in Semester 1 and found lots of blank spaces. I have no idea how he passed it. But he did.

I had perfect grammar but I was given a B for it when others with worse grammar got A.

The teacher said that I was being too uptight about my marks. I was feeling upset and told R about my problems even with another professor that I felt was against me.

She later gave me an A-.

Anyway…

R was pissed. So what do you do when you gather with the rest and talk. You gossip and backstab.

R talked about everything bad about me and I wasn’t aware.

2nd semester hit and I was upset for some reason that I cannot remember. I deleted my Twitter account.

C saw that I was really upset and brought together all the classmates together. They wanted me to know that I was hated and the classmates thought I was the problem.

Before all of this, during class, I’d spend the break times working on my presentation slides. During breaks, I’d take all the time to help my teammates to work on cool slides. But it was seen as a bad thing. That I didn’t want to socialise with others. My main objective was to get really good marks.

Others perceived me as being snobbish. They saw my Apple MacBook. My iPhone.

They even asked me where was my old MacBook when all the while I was using the same one.

My classmate would ask me why I was wearing sunglasses like an uncle in the shopping mall when I didn’t bring my eyeglasses to look at the screen of laptop to protect my eyes.

So people started shouting at me in the meeting that C set up and I just smiled and said sorry and that I will not do anything that will offend anyone.

I have been thinking about leaving already.

I get into some heated discussions with my lecturers and they saw that I was being rude and a child who doesn’t know how to obey authority.

It was a place to learn and I didn’t disrespect the teacher. I voice out my views and most of the time I’d be proven wrong and I’d accept it. Doesn’t mean that I was challenging and wanting to be better than my lecturer.

Next: I QUIT!

Posted using