Ulog 77 September 17 2019

That night of the dance party, I went back to my room dizzy, wallowing in self pity that the girl I was hoping to see is gone forever. She is not real. I have psychosis. I have hallucinations. Everything that I thought was real is just what it was. A defence mechanism.

The next day was already the last day of our Dating Hub retreat. We said our goodbyes and everyone was dismissed.

M said that we should go to Gurney Plaza to hang out. Most drove and those taking the bus will go after the hang out.

I don’t know whether it was planned or whether the gang was intentionally putting BabyBoo together, but we ended up taking a Grab car to Gurney.

BabyBoo spotted that I was using Barry Smith. The same luggage that she was using.

SHE WAS FOLLOWING ME.

But she said no. I was following her.

1st argument. Fun argument.

In the car, I asked her whether she know who lives in Ipoh that I wanted to see?

I said it was her and she was all laughs. I can still remember her reaction. She was genuinely happy.

The first phone call I made to here was awkward usual. I’ll be all jumpy, nervous and spoke fast and mostly nervously. She laughed a lot when I spoke.

We talked to minutes but when we looked at the clock, hours have gone by.

Soon, I send her an invitation to a symphony orchestra concert in my university where I was taking my Masters.

In the course of a week, we decided to be gf and bf.

Before she came, we did a big house cleaning and prepped her room with Bath and Body Works lotion and scents. We also put lots of soft toys on her bed. The room was better than ever before.

I also prepped many gifts including an iPhone and iPad I wanted to pass to her just for use temporarily before getting her a new one some time later. I also bought flowers and I was there to pick her u with it.

She came over to KL with mom present to make sure everything is in proper order. She even came to the concert with us.

Talk about a lamp post…

The next day after the concert, we didn’t go to mass. So we made our own mass for ourselves. We ate together. Talked about family and experiences in the past. We talked until we forgot that it was time to go to the bus station.

I ended up sending her back to Ipoh myself.

On the way back to Ipoh, we talked just as enthusiastically as always.

She said something which I disturbed me deeply.

I thought about things.

Finally, I texted her in busy afternoon and asked here whether she can be friends with mom. If she cannot, then it is best that we don’t see each other.

She was somehow furious and I said that was it. We were breaking up.

Just after the first day, that we were bf and gf, I was telling her that we were going to break up.

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